10 (Not) Wonderful Valentine’s Day Gift Ideas

1. Chocolates (half-empty… or maybe just a couple left)

A classic, but still effective. I mean who doesn’t like chocolate? Obviously you do. Your SO will hopefully understand that if you snuck a few… well, maybe more than a few.


2. Overly expensive gift

It’s not the thought that counts, it’s how much money you spend. Even if you have no idea what your SO likes and get them something pointless, they’ll appreciate the price (or hope they do because you just wasted, like, three hundred dollars).


3. Gag gift

Now if you have an inside joke or just want to see their reaction, I bet they’ll (you’ll) enjoy a gift like this. It also works if you have no idea what they actually like, and is a cheaper option compared to the one above (depending on what you get, that is).  (See number 10 if you like this idea but want something more memorable).


4. Dead flowers

You got them a few days early so you wouldn’t forget, but then forgot to water them, and well, they died. Be prepared to throw them out after showing them to your SO. Number 2 may say that it’s not the thought that counts, but in this case, hopefully it is.


5. Going out

No, not to a fancy restaurant with a romantic atmosphere. Valentine’s Day just so happened to land on a Wednesday which means wing night!


6. Staying in

Wing night can get expensive and maybe you just don’t want to put your pants on. So, stay in and attempt to cook for them with whatever you have sitting in the fridge. As they say, give an inch and get a mile! (Just hope they enjoy your mystery dish. It’s best not to tell them what you put in there.)


7. Doing nothing

Maybe they’re having a bad day and  just want to be left alone. It’s definitely just a coincidence that it happened on Valentine’s Day. Their mood probably won’t get better with gifts and food, so just give them some space. Don’t even talk to them. Count it as a free day to do whatever you want while they recover. (Note: this might not work and result in breakups, but you probably already had that coming.)


8. Buying “yourself” a gift

When you really want something, just buy it for your significant other. Hopefully they’ll think you have good intentions, but they might realize that you’re going to be the only one using it. (It’s not like they’ll remember this till the end of time… right?)


9. Hanging out with friends

We’re not going to leave you single people out of course (or those of you avoiding your moody SO). At least you have friends, hopefully. Do something with them. It sure beats going to the park and throwing rocks at any couples you see. Wait, you could do that with your friends. (Actually, don’t throw rocks at people. Seriously, don’t.)


10. Buying something that neither of you will ever use

Now I know what you’re thinking (Actually, I know what I’m thinking. Knowing what you’re thinking is kind of creepy, but this might be too). Why would you ever buy a gift and never use it? Let’s go back to that gag gift, and If you really went for it, it might get a bit outrageous. Let’s say for example… a gift that that will “liven” up certain bedroom activities, but is so over the top that it’s just one big joke. Just get a gift so out there, you will probably, maybe hopefully in this case (unless you want to), never use it. No matter what the case, your SO will be too weirded out to complain about you giving them a bad gift, but they may not exactly appreciate it, or maybe they will? It’ll a big, awkward surprise for both of you.

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