Advice for Awkward Moments with Awkward Lisa

Dear Lisa,

Is there a way to un-send a Facebook message? I may have sent a message I didn’t mean to send to a person I didn’t mean to send it to… I deleted it, but I’m not sure if it they are still able to see it. What should I do if they have already read it?

–“Anxious Andy”


Dear Anxious Andy,

Unfortunately, there is no way to un-send a Facebook message. Believe me–I looked for every possible way when I accidently I sent an article titled, “Reasons Why You Should Let Me Touch Your Butt” to the wrong person. You can delete a message from your side of things, but there is no way to delete a message that has already been sent. However, there is one thing you can still do—

Damage Control. I suggest that you take some time to evaluate the situation and how the message affects you and other people. Hastily sending another message in an emotionally charged situation may make things worse. If the message is only embarrassing to you and overall harmless, a simple apology message will do, and though you will most likely feel very embarrassed, they’ll soon forget and you will live. If the message divulges personal information about yourself or someone else, it’s best to take responsibility for your mistake and politely request that the receiver of the message deletes the message.

If the message is harmful to the receiver, I would suggest sending an apology when you are not feeling emotionally charged or maybe apologize in person. If things become heated, it is better to leave the conversation. If all else fails and you do not want to see response as a last resort, you could also block the person on Facebook.

In the future, I would advise you to check carefully before sending a message and step away from the keyboard if you are feeling angry.


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