Don’t Shoot The Messenger: Turtle’s Recap

Don’t Shoot The Messenger: Turtle’s Recap

Hello again, friends! With a new semester beginning, it is time for Turtle to once again break the fourth wall. Mr. Koerner has been hard at work over the winter break in an attempt to bring you more content. This is a creative process that seems to consist mostly of him staring at a blank page, writing a few paragraphs, violently deleting said paragraphs, making a few angry comments directed towards the story, sinking into self-loathing, sobbing in the corner, and then sulking as he plays video games. I asked him how these games would progress the narrative and his response was, and I quote, “I dunno, probably…inspire me or some shit. I don’t know. At least this way I know that it’s me and not the story that’s the failure. Go away.”

I am beginning to fear for his health.

In order to alleviate Mr. Koerner of some of his burden, Turtle is helpfully providing a recap of the events thus far. And if this has the added effect of catching returning readers up and filling new members in, hey, added bonus!

I (Turtle) am currently working as an intern for Justice, an alleged Oracle working for the Electi Filii. This is a group that seems to be part cult and part corporation. I am compiling a record of events that transpired before I accidentally got myself stuck in all of this, focusing primarily on the written logs of a man calling himself The Messenger.

The Messenger’s writings identify him as an IT guy for the Filii. He seems to have joined reluctantly, but the circumstances behind his initiation are still unclear. As he struggles to come to terms with his new circumstances, he begins to interview those around him to piece together what exactly it is the Filii do. They appear to track and hunt down people running from a mysterious being that the Filii treat with reverence.

Mr. Messenger works under Tempest, a teenage girl who takes herself far too seriously. His coworkers include Helios, a charming but probably sociopathic hipster, and Caper and Poe—a duo consisting of a wisecracking manchild and a stoic woman with a love for a gothic aesthetic. He has also met Rachael (a bartender acting as therapist) and Eddie, a man who tends over the “Assets”—Assets being humans who seem to have been stripped of their free will.

When we left off, Caper and Poe had just returned from an assignment. An assignment Caper had intentionally botched. The higher-ups apparently did not take this so well. As a result, Caper is now dead, leaving Poe and The Messenger alive to pick up the pieces.

Ah, Mr. Koerner is approaching now. He seems to have an incredibly serious look in his eyes. “Move, Turtle,” he’s saying. “It’s time to get back to work.” He’s flashing me a sly grin. The wheels are turning again, folks. He finally seems to be back in form. He—oh, he’s annoyed. “Seriously, Turtle,” he says, “get out of my chair. I can’t write when you’re using my keyboard. So with that, Turtle shall return you to your regularly scheduled program. I certainly hope you enjoy the ride.

~T

Andrew Koerner

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