Advice for Awkward Moments with Awkward Lisa

Dear Lisa,

So, I’ve decided to live in the dorms again, but I don’t want to live with my same roommate anymore. It’s not that there’s something wrong with her, I would just prefer to live with one of my other friends next year. However, I know she wants to be roommates still. I don’t know how to break the news to her. I’m not sure how to nicely “break-up” with my roommate without hurting her feelings or breaking off our friendship…

–“Becky”

Dear “Becky,”

This is a sticky situation indeed! I would suggest that you go about breaking up with your roommate the same way you would go about breaking up in any other relationship. Just be sure to be respectful, stay calm, and be honest!

First of all, it is best to break up with your roommate in person. You don’t want to be that person who dumps someone over text or Facebook. Meet in a location that is private like your room, or you could take her out to dinner! Also, be careful who you talk to about changing roommates. Your roommate would probably appreciate it more if she hears about the change from you, than if she heard the news from a mutual friend. She might also appreciate having some forewarning so she can start looking for a new roommate.

It may be best to not get into why you are changing roommates. But if she asks, just be honest. Use I statements instead of, “You, never clean.” “You always come in late.” Instead statements, like, “I wanted a change of scenery and to meet some new people.” After things settle down, maybe you can have a friendly follow up. Maybe hang out, or at least send a, “Hey, how are you.”

And most of all, don’t forget the golden rule. Just treat your roommate as you would want to be treated.

Best of Luck!

–Lisa