Traffic Redirection…or Psychological Experiment?

With the start of the new school year, most of DSU has noticed that Washington Avenue has fallen victim to the fury of construction workers. Turns out that this will have an even longer impact that we might have thought. Rumors have surfaced that this is actually a ploy staged by the city of Madison to marginalize the traffic that Washington Ave. would see in a normal day.

It’s no surprise that cities all around the country take advantage of the clear summer skies and ruin them with the smog of their diesel construction vehicles and smell of freshly laid asphalt. But is there something more to these disruptive endeavors? I am not one to instigate panic, but yes. It just so happens that the City of Madison has taken it upon themselves to perform a large-scale psychological study. The subjects? You and me.

“It only makes sense,” says one unnamed conspiracy theorist. “The city is trying to get us to use alternate methods to get into town. Something about the great white buffalo draws people into Madison, and it is causing a fluctuation of traffic that can only be compared to a fully-fledged metropolitan city.” According to this credible source, our wonderful city is attempting to warp our minds into believing that Egan Avenue (the current alternate path into Madison from the east) is the best means of exposing travelers to the excitement that is downtown Madison. I, for one, disagree.

Since the closure of Washington Ave., traffic around Madison has changed drastically. Does one brave the potholes of Egan? Or is it worth it to take the curve from 10th Street to Highland Avenue? All this turmoil and unrest in the minds of Madison-ites has brewed a storm. But the one question held high above the rest in these uncertain times remains – how the hell am I supposed to get to Lewis?