DSU Students Found with Rare Genetic Anomaly

It has recently been discovered through a series of tests conducted by the biology department on the DSU campus that a number of students have a rare strand of DNA not commonly found among most humans. After noticing a small percentage of the student population wearing what most would deem inadequate weather protection (short, flip flops, no coat) during subzero temperatures, the department decided to try an determine what made these students able to withstand the cold without frostbite.

They brought in the students who were seen not wearing winter garments and swabbed their cheeks for a DNA sample. After several tests and comparisons it was discovered that all of these students had a specific strand of DNA not present in others. The department concluded later that this strand was similar to that in painted turtles.

Painted turtles are common within the North American region, east of the Rocky Mountains. As such they often face harsh winters as we commonly have in the Midwest. The painted turtle hatchlings are able to survive with blood that can supercool. The gene found within the tested students matched the one that allowed painted turtles’ blood to withstand the cold temperatures.

I did a little further investigating after being told this and looked into the past of these students. A number had only been seen in warmer weather clothing, even in negative temperatures, for most of their adult lives. A few were photographed/filmed creating or lying under massive heat lamps. A few images showed a faint appearance of scales on their skin, at first I thought it was a trick of the light or a watermark. It was not.

I witnessed one student get their hand stuck in a door and when they pulled away I noticed yellow blood. I don’t want to say outright what this means for fear of what might happen to me, but I believe you have a right to the truth.

Lizard people walk among us, in shorts.
The initial author of this story has not been seen or heard from since its publication.