Sunny Side Up
If your major was a restaurant, which would it be?
Business: The business degree is Culvers. Fast food wearing a tie. It sounds fancy but really it just means you want to do whatever you want to when you graduate. It’s just entrepreneurship dressed up a little, like Culvers is McDonalds in a tux.
Biology: The biology major is Perkins.Standard, but really solid. Perkins food doesn’t fall short of expectations, and people in the biology program are definitely learning useful things.
Elementary Education: Elementary Ed. is Dairy Queen. Who doesn’t love DQ? Sure, it’s a little generic, but it’s been good for 80 years and it’s still going strong. El. Ed. is great – kids are fun and cute, even though they get tiring after a while (like chicken strips). And you wanted to be a teacher when you were little…like everyone else. One thing’s for sure, your job will always be needed.
English Education: English Ed. is Cracker Barrel. Everyone thinks of it as the old person restaurant, but really, it’s so nice that you keep coming back – as long as you’re not with your “cool” friends. Book nerds are the same way. They’re awesome, but don’t introduce them to your crowd.
Physical Education: This major isSubway. Healthy, but in a fun way.
Computer Graphics: Hu Hot. More about the aesthetic than the actual food. Who knows if you’ll get a job, but at least you’ll take cool classes in order to get the degree. Like at Hu Hot, you get to watch them make the food – so who cares what it tastes like?
Sound Design: Johnny Carino’s – too technical, but we all appreciate the result.Picatta, milano, scaloppini – it’s all just pasta to me, but the chefs know more.Music is music to the rest of us, but don’t get a sound design major started trying to explain how it all works!
Production Animation: This major isSickie’s Garage. Kind of weird from the outside…but really cool once you see what it’s all about.
Computer Game Design: Game design isSonic. From the outside, it looks fun and also a little scary. You’re not expected to go inside and order like an adult, and the only human interaction is with the people on skates.
Cyber Leadership and Intelligence: This major is Minerva’s. The expensive one. The one you go to if you want to really impress a date. The one that’s so high-brow, it’s kind of annoying for everyone else. Like, who has “intelligence” in the name of their major, anyway?
Computer Science: The Comp. Sci. degree is Chick Fil A. Very popular, slightly overhyped.
Cyber Operations: Cyber Ops. is Olive Garden. It sounds more high-end than it is. Everyone and their brother eats at Olive Garden, but if you want to dress up, you won’t feel out of place. Basically, you’re doing computer stuff like everyone else, but the title is fancy.
Are you offended yet? These are just stereotypes, but remember that it takes all kinds to make the world go ‘round (only an English major would use an old person expression like that). What would we do if we didn’t have both Taco Bell and Red Lobster?
P.S. The answer is we would eat healthier. Quit trying to figure out a cool metaphor.
